Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Super Babes, Heroines Turned to Damsels

You have to love the folks at Secret Identity Films. Fans of this blog have read about their masterpieces featuring beautiful super-heroines in tight shiny costumes and hooker boots. These heroines usually end up abducted, chloroformed, beaten, tortured, humiliated, stripped and raped (by villain and villainess). Sometimes they survive the end of the films, but always soiled and subdued. Hence 2014's anthology film, "Super Babes."
In an adrenaline boost to the fetishes of Japanese men, let us look at the trio of tales in this anthology. "Cosmic Girl: Battle Arena" features Alisha Adams as the sultry Cosmic Girl. Clad in a tight, white costume (which will be torn to pieces), she falls into a trap and now is a prisoner of Lady Roulette. The beautiful Lady Roulette abducts super heroines to fight in her on-line TV show 'Meta-Battle." Cosmic Girl will have to fight an opponent three times her size, Titanium Man. As Lady Roulette has stripped Cosmic Girl of most of her powers, Cosmic Girl will have quite a humiliating time of her contest.  Will she be able to regain her powers and fight back against her abductor?
Cosmic Girl in distress
Next, "Black Diamond: Search for the Soul Taker" features Maddie as Black Diamond. She has infiltrated the warehouse of an evil organization in search of a weapon that steals souls. She'll be grabbed, groped, spanked, and have her costume ripped apart in the process. She'll find the soul taker, but her nemesis has plans for her that will violate her and leave her weak and vulnerable. Can our heroine fight back? Finally, CJ the Model in the title role in "Live Wire." The evil Queen Zentra (Doxy Love) has come to conquer the Earth.  Live Wire, in a tight green leotard and the aforementioned hooker boots attempts to stop her. Zentra is smart and subdues Live Wire. Zentra plans on turning Live Wire into one of her slaves, and to do that, must rape her. She and her evil henchman, Brute, will take turns and Live Wire must resist or be their slave for eternity.
Queen Zentra rapes Live Wire
The three heroines in "Super Babes" will get their lunch handed to them, big time. They will be spanked, stripped, and enslaved. Not all of them, if any, will prevail, but defeated super-heroines are a trademark of Secret Identity Films. Why are these films so appealing? I'm not even going to touch that one. Cheesy, and possessing the morals and tenets of 1970s exploitation films, "Super Babes" is infinitely more entertaining than the preachy, modern day superhero offerings.
For more on Secret Identity Films, click the below links to three other films reviewed on this blog:
Heroines of S.W.O.R.D.
Agents of P.O.W.E.R.
Heroines of F.U.R.Y.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Blood Tracks, Cannibals vs. Rock Band

Actually, cannibals versus a rock band and the nude skank groupies who hang with them. A slasher film from Sweden, and a bloody one at that, 1985's "Blood Tracks."  A Swedish adage dating back to Viking times is loosely translated to English as "...the more naked you are, the gorier your demise." You would think with all that snow in Sweden, clothes wouldn't be shed as freely as they are in the States...think again!
A rock band (played by the Swedish band 'Easy Action') heads into the mountains to shoot a music video. As luck would have it, the manager, Bob (Michael Fitzpatrick), finds an abandoned and condemned factory there. Bob makes the executive decision to shoot much of the video there. Accompanying the band is a bevy of, mostly nude, skanks who will pose in the snow...mostly nude. Uh oh, abandoned factories are never really abandoned in slasher films. Living in the bowels of the machinery is a family of cannibals, hidden from society for decades.
Suzie (Naomi Kaneda) is the lead singer and she gets sweet on her guide/gofer John (Jeff Harding). As an avalanche cuts this crew off from civilization, the rock band retreats to a neighboring cabin for lots of pre-marital sex. A few of the crew wander into the factory to get some shots, but they'll be decapitated, impaled, axed, burned, and impaled some more. The offending cannibal family then sends its males to the cabin for some gory mayhem and to collect the nubile skanks who might serve their mating needs. As the nubile babes are chained to a bed in preparation for mating rituals, the few survivors band together and follow the fiends into the factory where a bloody war will decide the fate of cannibal and skank alike.
What is the backstory of our hungry and horny cannibal clan? Did this film prevent Easy Action from surpassing ABBA as Sweden's most popular band? After the release of "Blood Tracks" in 1985, for the first time in centuries, Swedes began talking about the cannibalism that has cursed them since the 11th century. For some gratuitous cheesecake and gore, enjoy "Blood Tracks,"directed by Mats Helge Olsson.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Varan the Unbelievable, A Speed Bump in Japan's Post War Reconstruction

Just what is "Varan the Unbelievable"?  This is a difficult question as 1962's "Varan the Unbelievable" is about Obaki the devil monster. Directed by Ishiro Honda ("Godzilla"), but since Japan lost World War 2, and history is written by the victors, Jerry A. Baerwitz is credited with directing this film. Perhaps this film is a bargain basement version of "Godzilla," but don't fret...its still a terrific Japanese monster movie with a big dinosaur-thing marauding through island villages and the Japanese military.
General Douglas MacArthur, WW2 hero, was sent to Tokyo to supervise the reconstruction of Japan. He's not in this film. We get Commander James Bradley (Myron Healy) who supervised food contracts during the war. He is sent to a remote island to implement his new invention...a water purification system. Joining him is Anna (Tsuruko Kobayashi), his sultry Japanese bride. After ticking off the natives and using the Japanese army as crossing guards, Commander Bradley sets loose his experiment on a salt-lake on the island. It fails! You might say "EPIC FAIL," as it does drive Obaki the devil monster out of the depths.
Obaki is ticked. Faster than you can say "Sayanora," the poor-man's Godzilla destroys all the peaceful villages on the island and nearly eats Anna and Bradley. Instead of rescuing villagers, the air force is dispatched to save Anna and Bradley, allowing the villagers to be crushed by Obaki. Obaki isn't done as Japan is a very large country with many airports and cities. Battling the navy and more jet fighters, Obaki heads to mainland Japan.
Now that Obaki is threatening politically sophisticated city-folk, will the military find an urgency to stop it?  Would the air force have rescued Bradley and Anna if Anna was a homely Geisha-reject? Just how do you get "Varan the Unbelievable" from "Obaki the Devil Monster"? Okay, not "Godzilla," but definitely a pleasing monster movie.  Tokyo got General MacArthur and roared back after the war ended. The small remote island in this film got Commander Bradley and got wiped out. Even in post-war Japan, political influence eludes the common man.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Razortooth, Hungry Eel

After feasting on an appetizer of 'gator bites at a restaurant called The Magic of New Orleans, I came up with the law of the swamp. EAT IT BEFORE IT EATS YOU! This maxim stayed with me at a Los Angeles restaurant last year when I ate eel. 2007's "Razortooth" hammers this logic home as it shows us the danger of not eating our slithery friends before they become mutated and hungry.
Two escaped convicts are fleeing through the swamp and pursued by a dozen shotgun wielding cops. Lucky for them, a giant mutated eel eats the pursuing men in blue. The toothy creature continues its swamp buffet leaving half eaten unfortunates littering the ecosystem. Enter a goofy, harmonica wielding, animal control officer named Delmar (Doug Swander). Also enter his ex-wife Ruth (Kathleen LaGue), who is also the sheriff. She is on the hunt for the two escapees and he is hunting something that's eating dogs, diner patrons, a naked babe in a sorority house, and fishermen. Soon the two realize they are hunting the same foe and celebrate this point by having sex. Oh yes, a bunch of youths hit the river/swamp for a canoe regatta...they'll all be eaten.
As Delmar and Ruth finish up carnal relations, they meet up with Dr. Abramson (Simon Page), the mad-scientist that created the eel-monster. As the fiend eats Abramson's interns, except for the full figured Holly (Kate Gerston), he joins the hunt. Hunting parties will be eaten leaving a small group to figure out how to kill the elusive, but deadly eel. Mercifully, Delmar puts down his harmonica and looks toward spears, grenades, guns, and toxins...this really turns Ruth on.
Will our ill-equipped swamp team figure out a way to kill the monster? Is the scene when the monster eel joins the naked coed in her shower a mere metaphor for Harvey Weinstein, and the carnage he has caused young actresses? The gore is over-the-top and the creature is quite ominous and toothy in this monster film.  For a neat monster and plenty of icky gore, see "Razortooth," directed by Patricia Harrington. It has not been confirmed if Ms. Harrington has ever met Mr. Weinstein.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Eyeball, Vermont Psychos head to Spain

Is everyone in Vermont a homicidal maniac? America's dirty little secret, though not from Italian director Umberto Lenzi, concerns this very question. So all you Europeans beware, and look at 1975's "Eyeball" as a warning, they may look like peaceful tourists, but if they're from Vermont, I assure you they are homicidal maniacs slaves to the imaginary voices in their heads.
A bunch of tourists from Burlington, Vermont (this is mentioned many times in this Lenzi film) land in Barcelona for a week of sightseeing. These are weirdos. A dad who fantasizes about murdering his daughter, a creepy priest, a secretary having an affair with her boss, two bickering but sultry lesbians, and more make up the group. Paulette (Martine Brochard)...we see her nude a lot...joins the group for a mysterious reason. Naiba (Ines Pellegrini) and Lisa (Mirta Miller) are the two lesbians...we see them nude a lot. The first murder occurs, a young lady has her eye gouged out as she is stabbed several times. A half second after this slaughter, Mark (John Richardson) appears at the crime scene. In fact, he has a penchant for doing this throughout the film. Mark is Paulette's boss and his wife Alma (Marta May) is insane and may have killed a girl in Burlington, Vermont.
As we meet more of the characters, they all have motives for killing indiscriminately. The old priest is really weird and usually is the last person the victims see before they assume room temperature. As Paula tells Mark he must divorce his wife if he wants any more sex with her, Mark gets grouchy and discovers that his dagger he used in Vietnam is the murder weapon. When Lisa takes a break from having sex with Naiba to help Mark find the killer, she is killed, hence her eye is taken. As the tourists diminish in number and eyeballs are gouged out, the nudity and gore increase. As Mark emerges as the number one suspect, it appears that his crazy wife Alma has followed him to Barcelona. Is Paulette in peril from an insane and jealous wife? Is a jealous lesbian the insaniac? Just why is the killer gouging out eyeballs of the victims?
Umberto Lenzi has done a fine job capturing the homicidal insanity of Burlington, Vermont. The questions are all answered and I gotta say that the answers are quite shocking. You won't believe why the insane Vermonter desires eyes of corpses. This film is perhaps a good old fashioned sex and gore Italian horror film, or a warning to the world community to join an effort to isolate and quarantine Vermont from civilization. Enjoy "Eyeball" (aka "The Secret Killer") available on YouTube.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Blood Salvage, Organ Harvesters and Beauty Queens

The most remote parts of rural America hold many surprises for main stream Americans. Moonshine and marijuana crops aren't the only deviant industries thriving away from metropolitan sophistication. Today we look at 1990's "Blood Salvage," where down-home preaching and organ harvesting play havoc on a stunning beauty pageant hopeful.
She's blonde and, as her white swimsuit suggests, pure. April (Lori Birdsong) has come to a rural peach festival to compete in a pageant. Uh oh, a disease has relegated April to a wheelchair, but her charm just may win her a crown. She captivates the judges and the owner of a towing/salvage company, Jake (Danny Nelson). Jake, also a pastor, can't control his drool and he knows he must have April. Bad news for April and her family; Jake and his two boys, Hiram (Christian Hesler) and Roy (Ralph Pruitt Vaughn), bump cars off the road, and tow them and their occupants to their salvage yard. There, Jake turns into a mad-scientist and surgically removes the organs of out-of-towners to sell on the black-market.
As Jake and his two boys abduct April and her family, the fun begins. April's mom, dad (John Saxon), and little brother will suffer such gruesome fates. Jake has plans for April, however. As both boys want to rape April, Jake wants her for himself. The white-clad pageant beauty won't be soiled without a fight. As Jake harvests organs, he also keeps his victims alive so he can visit the well repeatedly. Oh yes, Jake is a pastor, remember. As he cuts out organs he preaches sermons to the no-longer-whole miserables locked in his barn/lab. Being a widow for so long, Jake is ready for April and he readies his lab for a special surgery.
What does Jake have planned for the beauty in white? Will April ever walk again, and if so will she be able to mount a counter-attack on Jake and his boys? Is "Blood Salvage" a thinly veiled metaphor of rural America's rejection of the over sexualized culture overtaking society? You will cheer so hard for April to walk again, even more so than our parents cheered for Heidi to walk. I will say, the urgency for April to walk beats that of Heidi's, as Heidi wasn't going to get her organs pulled out...I don't think. Fans of "Motel Hell" will love "Blood Salvage," directed by Tucker Johnston.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Hammerhead, The Bold and the Beautiful Meets Re-Animator

Hunter Tylo is a courageous actress best known for role as a sultry beauty on the soap "The Bold and the Beautiful." When she became pregnant while starring in "Melrose Place" the beauty was told to have an abortion or be fired. She chose life. Jeffrey Combs has emerged as the greatest film mad-scientist in modern day cinema. As the demented scientist in "Re-Animator," Mr. Combs became a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. In 2005's "Hammerhead," the beauty runs head first into the monster scientist and the results will spurt a lot of blood.
Amelia grabs a shotgun
Amelia (Tylo) is the R & D director at a struggling pharmaceutical company. Dr. King (Combs) is a mad-scientist who has come up with a cure for cancer on his remote island lab.  The company sends Amelia, her BF Tom (William Forsyth), and several other employees to the island to convince King to sell them the drug. Uh oh...Amelia was engaged to King's son, Paul. Paul died five years ago of cancer (...or did he?). Double uh-oh, King is angry at Amelia and the company for firing him many years ago. Triple uh-oh, King plans on killing the team and saving Amelia to mate with his monstrous creation.  See, King has perfected the cross-species insemination and has created a hybrid man/hammerhead shark.
A bevy of mad scientists
As the film progresses we see a lot of this hammerhead monster as it kills swimmers and nubile babes. King has mated his monster with these babes who have birthed deformed and toothy mutations. Now he wants Amelia to mate with this thing.  Why Amelia? You guessed it...though I won't deliver the spoiler to you. As the team escapes Dr. King's lab, they will be hunted by the creature, man-eating plants, and flesh eating microbes (...after all, mad-scientists stay busy when not curing cancer). The team will dwindle in number, as the prettier the team member, the gorier the death. Unfortunately for Amelia, she will endure capture and a fateful reunion with her former fiance.
Paul has lunch
Limbs will be severed and fly, blood will spurt, and nubile babes will have mutant monsters explode out of their bellies...yes, "Hammerhead" is a worthwhile view. Hunter Tylo plays to the camera well, and has some very gratuitous scenes, and Jeffrey Combs is masterful as the mad-scientist. Will Amelia mate with her ex-fiance? Will a cure for cancer hit the market, even though human experimentation was key in its development? Can a mutant hybrid shark creature find love among a large sample of beautiful women? Shot in Bulgaria and directed by Michael Oblowitz, "Hammerhead" will please all of you gore-hounds.