Sunday, December 22, 2013

Cat-Women of the Moon, Too Smart to Fall in Love With

As this holiday season progresses, all of us are looking for the perfect DVD companion to Zsa Zsa Gabor's "Queen of Outer Space."  Search no more, as today's blog entry for 1953's "Cat-Women of the Moon" (in 3D) is your answer.  Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like 1950 type science fiction.

The plot:  As we join Moon Rocket 4, it's crew is awakening.  The four male astronauts, all equipped with one-syllable names (Kip, Walt, Laird, and Doug) are joined by Helen (every woman in this film have two-syllable names), the navigator (who is in love with Kip and Laird).  The men quickly get to work on space-ship stuff, while Helen, played by Marie Windsor (Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy and Salem's Lot)  fixes her make-up.  Helen, under some sort of possession by the queen of the cat-women, navigates the ship to a valley on the dark-side of the moon.  There, as the five explore, they find a cave with breathable air and giant tarantula-type beasts.  Helen screams a lot, and the one-syllabled crew kills the spiders.  Helen then leads them to an ancient city where they are captured by the love-starved maidens who have never seen men before.  Alpha (the leader) reveals that she plans to steal the ship, fly some of the cat-women to Earth to possess Earth-women, and then take over.  Alpha is played by Carol Brewster (Untamed Women and A Virgin in Hollywood).  All of the cat-women are beautiful and wear tight-black a takeover doesn't seem so horrible to us, the audience.

Alpha's plan seems like a sure thing.  But wait!  Some of the cat-women start falling in love with the men, causing dissension in their ranks.  Will true-love save mankind?  Will Helen ever decide between Kip and Laird?  Will we see a civil-war type cat-fight develop among our love-starved maidens?  All these questions will be answered in this 64 minute epic.

This movie is filled with some great one-liners.  For example, Walt confesses to a love-starved maiden, "You're too smart for me, baby.  I like 'em stupid."  The asteroids come at us in 3D.  If you have no patience for the dopey "The Polar Express," see "Cat-Women of the Moon."

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