Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Mercenaries, Brigitte Nielsen Conquers the World

Described by the CIA Director (Cynthia Rothrock) as an Amazonian She-B@@@h, Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen) undertakes a plan for world domination.  Yep...we have a can't miss one today.  2014's "Mercenaries" is filled with comic book-style action, and a babe filled mercenary team clad in black fatigues and leather.  Is there anything else you need for the the new year?  Why even consider going to see the new Angelina Jolie bore-athon, when when you can see Zoe Bell as a Ranger/Delta psycho, and Kristanna Loken as a former USMC sniper?  Available on Netflix, here is a review of the next film you will watch.
Unlike the daugheters of the first 44 U.S. presidents, Elise Prescott (Tiffany Panhilason) is hot, and as the  movie begins, kidnapped by Ulrika's band of terrorists in Kazakhstan.  Ulrika's demands?  If the president wants to see Elise in one piece again, Ulrika insists they overthrow the government of Kazakhstan and insert her as the president.  Ulrika loves abducting beautiful women and using them as prostitutes, and her plans for Elise turn even more treacherous.  Ulrika, a formidable foe, believes all women are weak and unreliable, so she doesn't fear them.  Hence the CIA director finds four of the baddest women with tactical experience she can muster.  Coincidentally, they are all incarcerated in maximum security prisons.  Cassandra (Bell) is a GI Jane.  Kat (Loken) is a sniper.  Mei-Lin (Nicole Bilderback) is a pilot and bomb maker. Lastly, Raven (Vivica A. Fox) is a covert CIA killer turned traitor.  If they rescue Elise, pardons await them.
These four killer vixens, armed with pistols, automatic rifles, and explosives that would make James Bond proud, must put their bad attitudes aside and work together if they plan on succeeding.  As our mercenaries begin their approach to a former Soviet prison, now Ulrika's (I just love saying that name) fortress, they realize that this Amazonian-b@#$h also has amassed lots of gold and some ICBMs.  With some smart planning, they infiltrate the fortress, but the blonde giant is two steps ahead of them.  Mei-Lin is quickly taken prisoner, and her and Kat will be strung up for torture before too long.  Oh yes, add some betrayal and hints of lesbian attraction, and chances of rescue and survival seem thin.  Nevertheless, our fully equipped vixens are ready to turn the tables on their Amazonian tormentor.  
Will Elise, the first-daughter, be brought back to the President in one piece?  If successful, will the CIA keep their word and give our four babes pardons?  Will Ulrika's hatred for women be tempered by her crush on Cassandra?  Ms. Nielsen looks terrific and is ominous as a wild terrorist leader.  The rest of the above mentioned actresses also do a fine job.  Pure action, lots of explosions, gun-fights, cat-fights, revealing battle gear, and witty dialog contribute to a must-see action film.  Directed by Christopher Ray, don't miss this one.  

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