Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Super Babes, Heroines Turned to Damsels

You have to love the folks at Secret Identity Films. Fans of this blog have read about their masterpieces featuring beautiful super-heroines in tight shiny costumes and hooker boots. These heroines usually end up abducted, chloroformed, beaten, tortured, humiliated, stripped and raped (by villain and villainess). Sometimes they survive the end of the films, but always soiled and subdued. Hence 2014's anthology film, "Super Babes."
In an adrenaline boost to the fetishes of Japanese men, let us look at the trio of tales in this anthology. "Cosmic Girl: Battle Arena" features Alisha Adams as the sultry Cosmic Girl. Clad in a tight, white costume (which will be torn to pieces), she falls into a trap and now is a prisoner of Lady Roulette. The beautiful Lady Roulette abducts super heroines to fight in her on-line TV show 'Meta-Battle." Cosmic Girl will have to fight an opponent three times her size, Titanium Man. As Lady Roulette has stripped Cosmic Girl of most of her powers, Cosmic Girl will have quite a humiliating time of her contest.  Will she be able to regain her powers and fight back against her abductor?
Cosmic Girl in distress
Next, "Black Diamond: Search for the Soul Taker" features Maddie as Black Diamond. She has infiltrated the warehouse of an evil organization in search of a weapon that steals souls. She'll be grabbed, groped, spanked, and have her costume ripped apart in the process. She'll find the soul taker, but her nemesis has plans for her that will violate her and leave her weak and vulnerable. Can our heroine fight back? Finally, CJ the Model in the title role in "Live Wire." The evil Queen Zentra (Doxy Love) has come to conquer the Earth.  Live Wire, in a tight green leotard and the aforementioned hooker boots attempts to stop her. Zentra is smart and subdues Live Wire. Zentra plans on turning Live Wire into one of her slaves, and to do that, must rape her. She and her evil henchman, Brute, will take turns and Live Wire must resist or be their slave for eternity.
Queen Zentra rapes Live Wire
The three heroines in "Super Babes" will get their lunch handed to them, big time. They will be spanked, stripped, and enslaved. Not all of them, if any, will prevail, but defeated super-heroines are a trademark of Secret Identity Films. Why are these films so appealing? I'm not even going to touch that one. Cheesy, and possessing the morals and tenets of 1970s exploitation films, "Super Babes" is infinitely more entertaining than the preachy, modern day superhero offerings.
For more on Secret Identity Films, click the below links to three other films reviewed on this blog:
Heroines of S.W.O.R.D.
Agents of P.O.W.E.R.
Heroines of F.U.R.Y.


Sunday, October 15, 2017

Blood Tracks, Cannibals vs. Rock Band

Actually, cannibals versus a rock band and the nude skank groupies who hang with them. A slasher film from Sweden, and a bloody one at that, 1985's "Blood Tracks."  A Swedish adage dating back to Viking times is loosely translated to English as "...the more naked you are, the gorier your demise." You would think with all that snow in Sweden, clothes wouldn't be shed as freely as they are in the States...think again!
A rock band (played by the Swedish band 'Easy Action') heads into the mountains to shoot a music video. As luck would have it, the manager, Bob (Michael Fitzpatrick), finds an abandoned and condemned factory there. Bob makes the executive decision to shoot much of the video there. Accompanying the band is a bevy of, mostly nude, skanks who will pose in the snow...mostly nude. Uh oh, abandoned factories are never really abandoned in slasher films. Living in the bowels of the machinery is a family of cannibals, hidden from society for decades.
Suzie (Naomi Kaneda) is the lead singer and she gets sweet on her guide/gofer John (Jeff Harding). As an avalanche cuts this crew off from civilization, the rock band retreats to a neighboring cabin for lots of pre-marital sex. A few of the crew wander into the factory to get some shots, but they'll be decapitated, impaled, axed, burned, and impaled some more. The offending cannibal family then sends its males to the cabin for some gory mayhem and to collect the nubile skanks who might serve their mating needs. As the nubile babes are chained to a bed in preparation for mating rituals, the few survivors band together and follow the fiends into the factory where a bloody war will decide the fate of cannibal and skank alike.
What is the backstory of our hungry and horny cannibal clan? Did this film prevent Easy Action from surpassing ABBA as Sweden's most popular band? After the release of "Blood Tracks" in 1985, for the first time in centuries, Swedes began talking about the cannibalism that has cursed them since the 11th century. For some gratuitous cheesecake and gore, enjoy "Blood Tracks,"directed by Mats Helge Olsson.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Varan the Unbelievable, A Speed Bump in Japan's Post War Reconstruction

Just what is "Varan the Unbelievable"?  This is a difficult question as 1962's "Varan the Unbelievable" is about Obaki the devil monster. Directed by Ishiro Honda ("Godzilla"), but since Japan lost World War 2, and history is written by the victors, Jerry A. Baerwitz is credited with directing this film. Perhaps this film is a bargain basement version of "Godzilla," but don't fret...its still a terrific Japanese monster movie with a big dinosaur-thing marauding through island villages and the Japanese military.
General Douglas MacArthur, WW2 hero, was sent to Tokyo to supervise the reconstruction of Japan. He's not in this film. We get Commander James Bradley (Myron Healy) who supervised food contracts during the war. He is sent to a remote island to implement his new invention...a water purification system. Joining him is Anna (Tsuruko Kobayashi), his sultry Japanese bride. After ticking off the natives and using the Japanese army as crossing guards, Commander Bradley sets loose his experiment on a salt-lake on the island. It fails! You might say "EPIC FAIL," as it does drive Obaki the devil monster out of the depths.
Obaki is ticked. Faster than you can say "Sayanora," the poor-man's Godzilla destroys all the peaceful villages on the island and nearly eats Anna and Bradley. Instead of rescuing villagers, the air force is dispatched to save Anna and Bradley, allowing the villagers to be crushed by Obaki. Obaki isn't done as Japan is a very large country with many airports and cities. Battling the navy and more jet fighters, Obaki heads to mainland Japan.
Now that Obaki is threatening politically sophisticated city-folk, will the military find an urgency to stop it?  Would the air force have rescued Bradley and Anna if Anna was a homely Geisha-reject? Just how do you get "Varan the Unbelievable" from "Obaki the Devil Monster"? Okay, not "Godzilla," but definitely a pleasing monster movie.  Tokyo got General MacArthur and roared back after the war ended. The small remote island in this film got Commander Bradley and got wiped out. Even in post-war Japan, political influence eludes the common man.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Razortooth, Hungry Eel

After feasting on an appetizer of 'gator bites at a restaurant called The Magic of New Orleans, I came up with the law of the swamp. EAT IT BEFORE IT EATS YOU! This maxim stayed with me at a Los Angeles restaurant last year when I ate eel. 2007's "Razortooth" hammers this logic home as it shows us the danger of not eating our slithery friends before they become mutated and hungry.
Two escaped convicts are fleeing through the swamp and pursued by a dozen shotgun wielding cops. Lucky for them, a giant mutated eel eats the pursuing men in blue. The toothy creature continues its swamp buffet leaving half eaten unfortunates littering the ecosystem. Enter a goofy, harmonica wielding, animal control officer named Delmar (Doug Swander). Also enter his ex-wife Ruth (Kathleen LaGue), who is also the sheriff. She is on the hunt for the two escapees and he is hunting something that's eating dogs, diner patrons, a naked babe in a sorority house, and fishermen. Soon the two realize they are hunting the same foe and celebrate this point by having sex. Oh yes, a bunch of youths hit the river/swamp for a canoe regatta...they'll all be eaten.
As Delmar and Ruth finish up carnal relations, they meet up with Dr. Abramson (Simon Page), the mad-scientist that created the eel-monster. As the fiend eats Abramson's interns, except for the full figured Holly (Kate Gerston), he joins the hunt. Hunting parties will be eaten leaving a small group to figure out how to kill the elusive, but deadly eel. Mercifully, Delmar puts down his harmonica and looks toward spears, grenades, guns, and toxins...this really turns Ruth on.
Will our ill-equipped swamp team figure out a way to kill the monster? Is the scene when the monster eel joins the naked coed in her shower a mere metaphor for Harvey Weinstein, and the carnage he has caused young actresses? The gore is over-the-top and the creature is quite ominous and toothy in this monster film.  For a neat monster and plenty of icky gore, see "Razortooth," directed by Patricia Harrington. It has not been confirmed if Ms. Harrington has ever met Mr. Weinstein.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Eyeball, Vermont Psychos head to Spain

Is everyone in Vermont a homicidal maniac? America's dirty little secret, though not from Italian director Umberto Lenzi, concerns this very question. So all you Europeans beware, and look at 1975's "Eyeball" as a warning, they may look like peaceful tourists, but if they're from Vermont, I assure you they are homicidal maniacs slaves to the imaginary voices in their heads.
A bunch of tourists from Burlington, Vermont (this is mentioned many times in this Lenzi film) land in Barcelona for a week of sightseeing. These are weirdos. A dad who fantasizes about murdering his daughter, a creepy priest, a secretary having an affair with her boss, two bickering but sultry lesbians, and more make up the group. Paulette (Martine Brochard)...we see her nude a lot...joins the group for a mysterious reason. Naiba (Ines Pellegrini) and Lisa (Mirta Miller) are the two lesbians...we see them nude a lot. The first murder occurs, a young lady has her eye gouged out as she is stabbed several times. A half second after this slaughter, Mark (John Richardson) appears at the crime scene. In fact, he has a penchant for doing this throughout the film. Mark is Paulette's boss and his wife Alma (Marta May) is insane and may have killed a girl in Burlington, Vermont.
As we meet more of the characters, they all have motives for killing indiscriminately. The old priest is really weird and usually is the last person the victims see before they assume room temperature. As Paula tells Mark he must divorce his wife if he wants any more sex with her, Mark gets grouchy and discovers that his dagger he used in Vietnam is the murder weapon. When Lisa takes a break from having sex with Naiba to help Mark find the killer, she is killed, hence her eye is taken. As the tourists diminish in number and eyeballs are gouged out, the nudity and gore increase. As Mark emerges as the number one suspect, it appears that his crazy wife Alma has followed him to Barcelona. Is Paulette in peril from an insane and jealous wife? Is a jealous lesbian the insaniac? Just why is the killer gouging out eyeballs of the victims?
Umberto Lenzi has done a fine job capturing the homicidal insanity of Burlington, Vermont. The questions are all answered and I gotta say that the answers are quite shocking. You won't believe why the insane Vermonter desires eyes of corpses. This film is perhaps a good old fashioned sex and gore Italian horror film, or a warning to the world community to join an effort to isolate and quarantine Vermont from civilization. Enjoy "Eyeball" (aka "The Secret Killer") available on YouTube.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Blood Salvage, Organ Harvesters and Beauty Queens

The most remote parts of rural America hold many surprises for main stream Americans. Moonshine and marijuana crops aren't the only deviant industries thriving away from metropolitan sophistication. Today we look at 1990's "Blood Salvage," where down-home preaching and organ harvesting play havoc on a stunning beauty pageant hopeful.
She's blonde and, as her white swimsuit suggests, pure. April (Lori Birdsong) has come to a rural peach festival to compete in a pageant. Uh oh, a disease has relegated April to a wheelchair, but her charm just may win her a crown. She captivates the judges and the owner of a towing/salvage company, Jake (Danny Nelson). Jake, also a pastor, can't control his drool and he knows he must have April. Bad news for April and her family; Jake and his two boys, Hiram (Christian Hesler) and Roy (Ralph Pruitt Vaughn), bump cars off the road, and tow them and their occupants to their salvage yard. There, Jake turns into a mad-scientist and surgically removes the organs of out-of-towners to sell on the black-market.
As Jake and his two boys abduct April and her family, the fun begins. April's mom, dad (John Saxon), and little brother will suffer such gruesome fates. Jake has plans for April, however. As both boys want to rape April, Jake wants her for himself. The white-clad pageant beauty won't be soiled without a fight. As Jake harvests organs, he also keeps his victims alive so he can visit the well repeatedly. Oh yes, Jake is a pastor, remember. As he cuts out organs he preaches sermons to the no-longer-whole miserables locked in his barn/lab. Being a widow for so long, Jake is ready for April and he readies his lab for a special surgery.
What does Jake have planned for the beauty in white? Will April ever walk again, and if so will she be able to mount a counter-attack on Jake and his boys? Is "Blood Salvage" a thinly veiled metaphor of rural America's rejection of the over sexualized culture overtaking society? You will cheer so hard for April to walk again, even more so than our parents cheered for Heidi to walk. I will say, the urgency for April to walk beats that of Heidi's, as Heidi wasn't going to get her organs pulled out...I don't think. Fans of "Motel Hell" will love "Blood Salvage," directed by Tucker Johnston.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Hammerhead, The Bold and the Beautiful Meets Re-Animator

Hunter Tylo is a courageous actress best known for role as a sultry beauty on the soap "The Bold and the Beautiful." When she became pregnant while starring in "Melrose Place" the beauty was told to have an abortion or be fired. She chose life. Jeffrey Combs has emerged as the greatest film mad-scientist in modern day cinema. As the demented scientist in "Re-Animator," Mr. Combs became a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. In 2005's "Hammerhead," the beauty runs head first into the monster scientist and the results will spurt a lot of blood.
Amelia grabs a shotgun
Amelia (Tylo) is the R & D director at a struggling pharmaceutical company. Dr. King (Combs) is a mad-scientist who has come up with a cure for cancer on his remote island lab.  The company sends Amelia, her BF Tom (William Forsyth), and several other employees to the island to convince King to sell them the drug. Uh oh...Amelia was engaged to King's son, Paul. Paul died five years ago of cancer (...or did he?). Double uh-oh, King is angry at Amelia and the company for firing him many years ago. Triple uh-oh, King plans on killing the team and saving Amelia to mate with his monstrous creation.  See, King has perfected the cross-species insemination and has created a hybrid man/hammerhead shark.
A bevy of mad scientists
As the film progresses we see a lot of this hammerhead monster as it kills swimmers and nubile babes. King has mated his monster with these babes who have birthed deformed and toothy mutations. Now he wants Amelia to mate with this thing.  Why Amelia? You guessed it...though I won't deliver the spoiler to you. As the team escapes Dr. King's lab, they will be hunted by the creature, man-eating plants, and flesh eating microbes (...after all, mad-scientists stay busy when not curing cancer). The team will dwindle in number, as the prettier the team member, the gorier the death. Unfortunately for Amelia, she will endure capture and a fateful reunion with her former fiance.
Paul has lunch
Limbs will be severed and fly, blood will spurt, and nubile babes will have mutant monsters explode out of their bellies...yes, "Hammerhead" is a worthwhile view. Hunter Tylo plays to the camera well, and has some very gratuitous scenes, and Jeffrey Combs is masterful as the mad-scientist. Will Amelia mate with her ex-fiance? Will a cure for cancer hit the market, even though human experimentation was key in its development? Can a mutant hybrid shark creature find love among a large sample of beautiful women? Shot in Bulgaria and directed by Michael Oblowitz, "Hammerhead" will please all of you gore-hounds.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Murderlust, Church Going Serial Killer

No cute puppies. No adorable babies. No fury kittens. No babies playing with cute puppies and fury kittens. Nope. In 1985's "Murderlust" we have nothing but seedy and perverted violent carnage. The acting is quite good and the plot is painfully ominous, but if you like your horror on the horrific side, this film will get you going.
Steve (Eli Rich) is a serial killer who kills vulnerable young ladies after strangling and raping them. This monster dumps their bodies in the desert.  Uh oh...he has another side to him. Steve is also a Sunday school teacher of teenagers and has the confidence of the church community. Away from church, he finds prostitutes and goes to town on them. The cops have no clues in tracking the Mojave Killer, but Steve is above suspicion.
While trolling for his next victim, he picks up Cheryl (Rochelle Taylor), a disabled motorist. Cheryl is different. She is smart...aggressive...and has no victim in her psyche.  Cheryl also recognizes Steve from Church.  The two will start a romance which will lead Cheryl on a path toward a gruesome fate. The romance with Cheryl has Steve off his game and his choice of victims now affect the church community. With his murder count over a dozen, will Cheryl show enough spunk to figure out Steve's real identity and fight back?
This is a gritty film with no humor or feel good moments. The kills are graphic and heartbreaking. The introduction of Cheryl, as a strong and smart would be heroine is a nice touch. We cheer for Cheryl to succeed but our devil is awfully good at his trade.  Directed by Donald Jones, if you can stomach true horror, see "Murderlust."

Sunday, October 1, 2017

The Man Without a Body, Nostradamus Does Wall Street

Forget financial apps, Merrill Lynch, or Fidelity. To make a killing in investing, one needs a prophet who is never wrong. The problem is Nostradamus lived in the 16th century. Imagine if you could have this great prophet at your service to make those tough investment decisions. Perhaps you could tap into his brilliance and wager on Super Bowls and World Series.' Hence 1957's "The Man Without a Body." Warning...after seeing this film you may not want to know the future.
Karl Brussard (George Coulouris) is the richest, most powerful man in the world. He has built a financial empire. Bad news...he's dying of a brain tumor. Desiring to send his empire into the future, he barges in on Dr. Merritt (Robert Hutton), the greatest brain surgeon in the world. Karl knows Merritt has perfected brain transplants. Merritt's laboratory is adorned with his macabre experiments. A monkey's head swivels and watches the goings on. An eyeball, suspended with wires watches one's every move. Brussard wants Merritt to remove his damaged brain and replace it with the greatest mind in the history of mankind. You might ask who's brain would that be?
Karl then pays for a grave-robber to travel to France and steal the head of Nostradamus. The theft goes forth perfectly, but as you can imagine, difficulties arise. Brussard's trophy girlfriend Odette (Nadja Regin) falls for Merritt's assistant Lou (Sheldon Lawrence). The two plot to make sure Karl doesn't  survive the transplant operation. Even more awkwardness arises when Merritt is successful in reanimating Nostradamus' head. The old prophet isn't keen on the idea of being mounted on Karl's torso. As Karl pumps the prophet's head for financial advice, Nostradamus devises a horrific plot. No spoilers here but you won't believe the last 15 minutes of this film.
Will Merritt ever put Nostradamus' head on Karl's body? Will Nostradamus manage to master the financial markets? Will the 500 year old head develop an attraction to the sultry Odette? This is a wild one. The plot is far fetched and has a couple of big holes, but the ambition of "The Man Without a Body" is very inspiring. Directed by W. Lee Wilder, this film will gratify any B movie fan.

Friday, September 29, 2017

The Last Supper, Hunk Eats Babes

Lots of Japanese babes just yearning for pre-marital sex. A handsome hunk and Japan's most renown plastic surgeon who wants to eat them. No not a porn film...a cannibal extravaganza! In a smartphone age, communication is very important. A nubile and sex starved beauty may feel complimented when a hunk tells her, "I want to eat you." However, in 2005's Japan/Hong Kong horror film "The Last Supper," this error in communication will be fatal...and a little bit fattening.
A macabre dinner date
Dr. Yuji Kotorida (Masaya Kato) wasn't always a suave and debonair plastic surgeon to the stars. Nope, he used to be awkward, dimwitted, and physically challenged. During a humiliating matriculation through medical school, the socially inept Yuji manages to taste the fat of one of his cadavers...the rest is history. Jump forward, our good doctor realizes the meat of young beautiful women keeps him young, handsome, intelligent, and potent. Fortunately for him, Japan's hottest babes are throwing themselves at him, only to be added to his menu. A beautiful info-babe, Saki (Fumina Hara) is doing a feature on him and for Japanese TV and falling in love with him.
You won't believe what they just did
No need to methodically go through the plot as spoilers are as undesirable as too much garlic. This film may be reminiscent of the TV show "Dexter" but wait! In "The Last Supper," one thing is clear...cannibals aren't the only social deviance out there...and yes, they aren't as rare as we might believe.  Yuji seduces some great looking women before eating them.  We see him eat them, but beware, we also see him decapitate them, chop them up, gut them, de-bone them, and prepare them. Standard stuff to an extreme horror fan? Perhaps, but twists abound. The demise of the sultry info-babe Saki is shocking and delves into the orgasmic world of cannibalistic threesomes.
The unfortunate info-babe
Extreme gore and some horrific twists make "The Last Supper" (directed by Osamu Fukutani) a worthwhile watch. The ending? Yep, you'll be yelling "What the @#%& is that!" So, if you're bored with all those cooking shows on satellite TV, this will be a logical step up. Yuji's menu includes some beautiful actresses, most completely unknowing their fate when they give in to their sexual desires.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Nightwish, Don't Wake Up

Believe it or not hyperbaric chambers are still on the market. Remember those? William Hurt went bananas in one in "Altered States." Oh yes, Kelly LeBrock ("Don't hate me because I'm beautiful") had one while married to Steven Seagal. Whether those two points are related is unknown. Today some gratuitous horror generated by one of these weird devices graces this blog. 1989's "Nightwish" is an ignored shocker with some very icky moments. Zombies eating prom-goers, big leeches, bugs exploding out human heads, aliens nesting eggs in human bodies, and gratuitous wet T-shirt scenes highlight this horror yarn.
Donna
Pretty Donna (Elizabeth Kaitan), in a flowing red prom gown is tormented by a flesh-eating class-mate. Wait!  She wakes up in a hyperbaric chamber. A mad doctor (Jack Starrett) is using college students in experiments. He has invented a machine and process in which he can see dreams on a TV monitor and then control what happens in them. It should be noted this process hasn't been perfected. Our doctor also asks his subject to allow their greatest fears to proceed and welcome death in these dreams...a clue to change majors. Our doctor takes this show on the road to continue these experiments in a haunted house with a satanic history, built on a cursed Indian burial ground and a haunted mine.  Oh yes, this palace is located in an area with lots of U.F.O activity.
Kim
At the house, the doctor conducts a strange seance which conjures up a big green endoplasmic snake which seeks to impregnate the gals, Donna and Kim (Alisha Das). His next seance will be conducted with his students handcuffed...then the fun starts. After this seance, the doctor has his assistant, Stanley (Robert Tessier) torture our youths. The doctor's real goals are to have the beings on the other side drag all of them to that alternate universe.  Kim escapes! Up to now Kim's only goal was to have pre-marital sex with a hunk (Brian Thompson). Now she must play the hero. She is chased into the haunted mines which end up being a breeding ground for slimy aliens.  After a steamy scene in which the green snake has sex with  her, Kim must act. Now satisfied sexually by the snake, Kim realizes that the inhabitants of the mine must be destroyed.
Haunted house classroom
Can Kim switch from nymphomaniac to heroine? Is all this part of some weird and twisted dream, manipulated by the evil doctor?  If it is a dream, will waking up end the horror? Lots of dismemberment, slimy alien f/x, and gratuitous wet T-shirt scenes await you in either "Nightwish" or your dreams.  Before you go onto Amazon and order that hyperbaric chamber, see "Nightwish."    

Monday, September 25, 2017

Terror Night, The Silents Come Back to Kill

Shelley Winters in her autobiography said "Making love is like eating pizza...hot and juicy or cold and soggy, its all good." The same maxim applies to slasher films. Quirky and unique, or standard and predictable, slasher films always please. Today we have an apparent standard and predictable slasher film, 1987's "Terror Night" (aka "Bloody Movie").  Some great looking college kids, lots of pre-marital sex, a haunted mansion stalked by a maniac, and some throw-in characters just made for being slashed.  Of course we have the promiscuous ones who will die horribly, and then the clean cut ones who will survive...or will they?
Chip and Kathy
In the opening scene we learn that legendary silent film star Lance Hayward (John Ireland) is presumed dead and his mansion is set to be razed. The property taxes haven't been paid and the bank has claimed the property.  Grizzly Adams (Dan Haggerty) and another bank executive visit the place the night before the bank will take possession and both will die horribly. Grizzly Adams will be harpooned and another schmuck will be pulled in half after being tied to the bumper of a car. In fact, all the murders in this film will mirror deaths from old Lance Hayward silent films. Second scene: blonde bimbo Sherry (Jamie Summers) and her beau Greg (Ken Abraham) are in an elongated bathtub scene in which the two naked college kids are rubbing soap all over each other.
The unfortunate Sherry
Six of these college kids think it would be fun to head over to the abandoned mansion for a night of pre-marital sex...what could go wrong?  Unbeknownst to them, two bikers, Jo (Michelle Bauer) and Angel (Jim Elwells) head over there for drugs and sex.  Kathy (Staci Greason) and nerd Chip (William Butler) actually want to go because they love the silents and think Lance Hayward is cool. But wait! Hayward isn't dead...he is a psycho maniac and hunts down the hunks and babes with swords, battle-axes, shotguns, etc.  Michelle Bauer will be chased while totally nude, and when she puts her leather outfit on, will be whipped unmercifully.  Oh yes, remember the skank in the bathtub...yep...you guessed it...the most memorable death scene of the film awaits her.
Lance Hayward does Othello
As the characters die horribly, will the clean cut Kathy and nerd Chip survive?  Did the lack of sex and nudity in Hollywood's silent films increase Lance Hayward's sexual frustration to the point of brutal homicide?  Is this film a metaphor for the fate of modern day Hollywood and they're stale writing and acting?  I warn you, don't get too attached to anyone in this film as it doesn't follow the rules of who survives and who doesn't.  For some great kills and an nice surprises, see Nick Marino's "Terror Night."

Saturday, September 23, 2017

The Humanoid, The Evil Warlord Who Loved Me

Two years after Barbara Bach and Richard Kiel collaborated on "The Spy Who Loved Me," they co-starred in the cheesy Italian scifi epic "The Humanoid." So, you have never heard of 1979's "The Humanoid"?  Don't worry, I'm here to help...just imagine a head on collision between 1979's Starcrash and 1988's Space Mutiny . Forget about the over preachy and awfully acted "Star Wars" and treat yourself to the trio of films I have just mentioned. Oh yes, if you want to see some real spacebabes, forget about Carrie Fisher (oh please!) and enjoy Barbara Bach or Caroline Munro.
Mad scientist and Lady Agatha
Lord Graal (Ivan Rassimov) has escaped from a prison planet, commandeered a space battleship and has set his sights to destroying Metropolis (Earth). A mad scientist has perfected a serum that will turn humans into monsters, which Graal will use to destroy the planet. Oh yes, along for the ride is the sultry Lady Agatha (Bach). Agatha is a spacebabe version of Elizabeth Bathory (Countess Dracula), as she travels the universe, abducting other nubile spacebabes, and putting them in a galactic Iron Maiden. See, Agatha needs the blood of beautiful women to maintain her youthful appearance. Graal's scientist turns Earth-defender Golob (Kiel) into a monster and sends him to Metropolis.
Golob and Tom Tom
As Golob seems to be well on his way to destroying Earth, a change of plans! Yep, before destroying a planet, Graal needs to destroy Barbara Gibson (Corinne Clery). Who is Barbara Gibson? She is a horrible video game player. As Golob corners Barbara Gibson, a galactic Dalai Lama named Tom Tom (Marco Yeh) saves her and turns Golob good again. When Barbara Gibson is abducted, anyway, Golob and Nick (Leonard Mann)...never mind about him...set their sights on the mother ship of Graal and Agatha.
Barbara Gibson in the Iron Maiden
Will we see a steamy cat-fight between Barbara Gibson and Lady Agatha? Does Lady Agatha want Barbara Gibson for anything other than her blood? Who do you prefer, Barbara Bach or Caroline Munro? So much more to tell you, I didn't even mention Robo-dog (think a cuter version of R2D2).  For an almost perfect space epic see "The Humanoid" directed by Aldo Lado.


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Zombie Holocaust, The Nude vs. the Undead

Nothing says "I gotta see this film" like the catch-line "banned in 83 countries." 1980's "Cannibal Holocaust" (aka "Doctor Butcher M.D.") is a favorite of many of this blog's readers and the decency boards in 83 countries. To add to the cinematic excellence, our film today was made in Italy and is poorly dubbed. Human organs ripped from torsos, nudity, scalping, nudity, exposed brains, cannibals, zombies, and nudity...hardly any reason for a cohesive plot.
Lori
Hospitals are alarmed at a rash of thefts from their morgues and cadavers. Someone is ripping out internal organs from corpses. Uh oh, a culprit is caught feasting on a corpse's heart. Hospital personnel including Lori (Alexandra Delli Colli) and Dr. Peter (Ian McCulloch) are still alarmed as it appears lots of cannibals are loose in the city. Now, it is not clear what Lori and Peter do for the hospital but they decide to venture to a remote southeastern Asian island and investigate the tribe that seems to have visited New York. Before they leave, we see Lori strip off her boots, clothes, intimate undies in order to answer her doorbell. Who rang? The beautiful and nubile reporterette Susan (Sherry Buchanan). The two babes stare at each other in a scene not important to the plot.
Dr. Butcher and Susan
Joining Peter and Lori on their expedition is Susan and George (Peter O'Neal). Who is George? Who knows, but his death scene is excruciating and disgusting. The quartet arrive and Lori undresses right away, only to find a maggot infested severed head in her bed. The four then head into the jungle to find the elusive cannibals. Just their luck, the cannibals find them first, eat George and carry the nubile Susan away for a fate worse than death. Lori and Peter consider leaving but they decide to pay a visit to a weird doctor operating on this island. This will be a mistake as Lori is then carried away, stripped of all her clothes (...as if she couldn't do it herself) and Peter is slated for the same fate Susan endured. Ah, but wait, a few surprises are in store for the tormentors and cannibals, and Lori's nudity might just give her and Peter a fighting chance. Oh yes, as if the cannibals were not menacing enough...bring on the zombies.
Lori and Peter in the doctor's lab
Will Susan and Lori engage in a nude cat-fight? Who is the mysterious island doctor and what is his relation to the cannibals and zombies? Is Susan's gory and disgusting demise a mere metaphor for the hostility toward the media in 1980s Italy? Directed by Marino Girolami, and filled with severed limbs, machete carnage, ripped out internal organs, and the nude Alexandra Delli Colli, "Zombie Holocaust" was never banned in the U.S. giving you every opportunity to see this. After viewing it, call your buddies in Sierra Leone and gloat.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Blood Thirst, Vampire in The Philippines?

Vampire in The Philippines? Looks that way. In 1971's "Blood Thirst," the blood sucker isn't the only social deviance preying on this Asian cluster of islands. Beautiful women in Manila are having their blood drained, but should we rush to judgment and blame vampires? One who understands Manila, and its intricacies, knows that there are a thousand other things that could be draining blood from nightclub babes.  Like what? Well...you know...
Rourke and Insp. Ramos
Sultry women working at The Barrio Club in Manila are getting murdered. They are found hanging upside down with their arms slit and drained of blood. Police Inspector Ramos (Vic Diaz) summons Adam Rourke (Robert Winston). Rourke is an American and an expert in sex murders. Rourke looks like he has a bit of sex-crazed killer in his genes. After he meets Ramos' sister Sylvia (Ketherine Henryk), it is obvious she doesn't like him or his arrogance. Not to be denied, Rourke slaps her silly a couple of times, grabs her, plants a big unwanted kiss on her and engages in some rough pre-marital sex with the nubile sister. After that, she can't get enough of him or more pre-marital sex with him. Meanwhile, more nightclub babes are murdered and drained. Rourke believes the suave and mysterious nightclub manager, Calderon (Vic Silayan), is the culprit.
Serena
After slapping Sylvia silly some more, Rourke goes undercover in the club. All signs point to Calderon...but wait! A very ravishing blonde exotic dancer, Serena (Yvonne Nielson), tells Rourke that she must talk to him.  Apparently Serena has incriminating evidence against Calderon. As more murders occur, we see the killer, a monstrous human like creature with a head covered in boils. Rourke knows he can't trust the beautiful exotic dancer, but is drawn to meet her anyway. His girl-toy Sylvia, unbeknownst to Rourke, is the next target for this creature.
Sylvia in much peril
Is Calderon involved in these murders? Just what is this monster, and why is he draining the babes of their blood? What is the mystery of Serena, and what does she have planned for Rourke? Does Sylvia need a wedding planner or the phone number to a battered women's shelter? A man's movie no doubt, and probably a favorite film of NFL running backs, "Blood Thirst," directed by Newt Arnold, and filmed entirely in Manila, is a minor gem from the 1970s.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Psychic Killer, The Church and Gratuitous Horror

One of the most gratuitous death scenes in 1970s horror occurred in 1975's "Psychic Killer." Canadian actress Mary Charlotte Wilcox ("Days of Our Lives") portrays a sultry white-clad nurse. Caring for a terminally ill elderly man, she teases him with an exotic dance while she strips off her uniform. She'll strip off her undies as she enters the shower for a gratuitous shower scene. She'll then be scalded by boiling water and cut up when she falls through the shower door. What became of Ms. Wilcox? She left gratuitous acting and became an Anglican priest in Edmonton. Let us take a look at the Anglican church's number one recruitment tool.
Arnold (Jim Hutton) is institutionalized, then imprisoned for the murder of his mom's doctor. Arnold blames the doctor and several others for his mom's death. His only friend? Kay from "Creature From the Black Lagoon." That's right, Julie Adams plays Dr. Scott, his sympathetic psychologist. In prison, Arnold inherits a gift of the occult. He can now astral project himself outside his body. After he is released from prison, Arnold moves into his mother's home, and begins a paranormal journey of vengeance. He'll first kill Whit Bissell, also from "Creature From the Black Lagoon."
The killings are very gory and imaginative. As our Anglican priest/slutty nurse is felled, Detective Morgan (Paul Burke) tries to connect the murders and victims. As Morgan figures out all the victims had something to do Arnold being incarcerated, he keys in on Arnold as the number one suspect. A big problem arises...some of the murders then occur while Arnold is under surveillance, asleep in his mother's home. Morgan enlists the help of Dr. Scott. Arnold secretly loves Scott and desires sex with her, but Morgan gets to her first. Morgan is humiliated as his astral projection witnesses Morgan and Scott engage in pre-marital sex. Now Arnold expands his list to not only include schmucks who put him in prison, but also Morgan and Scott.
As stated earlier the kills are sensational...one occurs in a butcher shop and utilizes a meat grinder and bone saw.  Will the lovely Dr. Scott, who recently escaped from the creature, be able to avoid Arnold's paranormal advances? Did attendance at Canada's Anglican churches skyrocket after this film premiered? Did the United Methodists counter "Psychic Killer"? For some nice gore and gratuitous exotic dancing, check out "Psychic Killer."

Friday, September 15, 2017

Nurse Sherri, Possessed Angel in White

Exploitation films were still filling the drive-ins back in the 1970s. Many of these titillating films featured beautiful nurses, and in the 1970s they were still clad in white. This was perfect as those white uniforms were slightly form fitting for sex comedies and a perfect background for red splattered blood in those slasher films. 1978's "Nurse Sherri" (aka "Hospital of Terror") will show us many beautiful nurses, in those white get-ups or nude. Either nude, or in clad in white, many will die horribly at the hands of the title character.
Reanhauer rapes Sherri
After some pre-marital sex with Doctor Peter, the beautiful and nubile, white-clad Nurse Sherri (Jill Jacobson) is raped by the spirit of an evil Astrological-Satanic priest Reanhauer (Bill Roy). Really...need I say more? Here goes, Reanhauer is felled by a heart attack in the desert after trying to bring a rotting corpse back to life. The doctors can't save him and the fun begins. Sherri is dating the hunk Doctor Peter (Geoffrey Land). Peter yells at her a lot and gets panicky if Sherri doesn't answer her phone on the first ring. Meanwhile, the possessed Sherri first visits the former head doctor at the hospital who ordered heart surgery for Reanhauer. She impales him with a pitchfork. She'll then gut another member of the surgical staff.
The formerly beautiful Nurse Gordon
Meanwhile, NFL star Marcus Washington (Prentiss Moulden) has been blinded and is in the hospital. Nurse Tara (Marilyn Joi) takes a liking to him and undresses a lot. Nurse Beth (Katherine Pass) satisfies her patients with kinky sex before surgery. Oh yes, very pretty Nurse Gordon (Caryl Briscoe) will have her throat slashed and uniform stained by Sherri. As Peter continues to have no clue as to why Sherri isn't treating him like King Tut, Tara and Marcus figure out that Reanhauer's spirit is loose in Sherri. Fortunately Marcus has a lot of knowledge of voodoo and comes up with a far fetched plan to end Reanhauer's reign of terror. As the nurses continue to disrobe and have kinky sex, and as Peter continues to demean Sherri, Sherri stalks other hospital personnel.
Nurse Sherri
Will Tara and Marcus' plan succeed and free Sherry from Reanhauer's possession? Will Calgon (ancient Chinese secret) get bloodstains out of white nurse uniforms? Possessed or not possessed, will a blade wielding Nurse Sherri rid herself of Dr. Peter? "Nurse Sherri," directed by Al Adamson is fine 1970s horror/exploitation. Lots of pretty damsels and some nice gore highlight this tale of angels in white in much peril.